Everyone running for City Council is focused on Rexburg’s future, but none so much as Chris Mann. A psychic since the age of three, Chris Mann not only cares what happens to Rexburg’s future, he sees it.

Mann’s parents first discovered his gift when he predicted the outcome of the 1957 World Series, Super Bowl, and Spud Harvest Celebration Tug O’ War. Since that time they have encouraged him to use his power for the greater good. For Mann, City Council seemed like the most logical choice.

“I know what will most benefit Rexburg,” said Mann. “I only want to help.”

And help is just what Rexburg needs. According to Mann, the City of Rexburg has traversed the higher zodiac spectrum and thus needs to be reconfigured through channeled energy transfusions with the Vortex. Otherwise, Rexburg’s aura shield will disintegrate and leave it subject to the Void.

“Trust me,” says Mann, “If I don’t get elected, bad things are going to happen. Within weeks we could see a drastic drop in temperatures, as well as an increase in snow, wind, and hail. I’m the only one who is fit to guide Rexburg into the future. ”

Mann’s opponents are not so sure.

“He’s a joke,” said Dan Weatherfield, who is also running for City Council, “Every year he makes a series of predictions. Every year they come true. But take a look at his predictions. Last year he predicted that it would snow during the winter, that it would get colder, but that eventually people would be able to walk around in shorts. Granted, at the time it was so cold that it seemed impossible. I know I had my doubts. But still, I don’t think that kind of prediction is grounds to let a second-rate palm-reader take control of the city.”

Mann’s final statement in our interview was, “I know what you are thinking. You know that I know what you are thinking. And I think that you know that I know that you know that I know the future, and if both our thoughts are on the same astral plane, then we both know the outcome of this election. Vote for me. I know you will.”

Chris Mann turban


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