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REXBURG- DeShawn Coltrane is excited to graduate from BYU-Idaho. The school, eh not so much.

Coltrane is exactly like every other student at BYU-Idaho, except he’s black. For years, he has  been the only African American voice in a student body that’s whiter than a Rexburg winter.

“DeShawn offers a unique cultural experience,” said European American student, Jake Detlor, “Gosh, the other day we even watched a Madea movie. It’s nice to get some pepper when you’re surrounded by so much salt.”

Though Coltrane is ready to move on, the school wants him to stay. Connor McConnell from the University Admissions Office said, “We can’t afford to lose our only African American student. We only get one every couple of years. We feel that once that Coltrane leaves, the diversity in the school will drop dramatically.”

McConnell is on a team of university officials who are trying to create a delayed graduation plan for Coltrane. Their plan will provide Coltrane with free tuition, a premium meal plan, subsidized housing, and satellite television.

“Every campus needs a black guy,” said McConnell. “It’s not fair to rob the rest of the students at this university with that experience.”

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10 thoughts on “Diversity Threatened by Black Graduate

  1. This is ridiculous. Congratulations to this student for standing out in such a cliche community, but the University’s efforts to delay his graduation is just wrong. If the administration wants more diversity they need to start broadening that through the admission of other diverse students who apply. They have no right to bribe this student to stay just to keep their “diversity”.

  2. @Gus, this is the biggest joke evar. The Skrole is a pretty lame riff off of our campus newspaper, The Scroll. DeShawn is actually a student named Michael and there are a few black students at BYU-I. Not a ton, it’s still a pretty lily community, but there are more than one.

  3. I know this is just a joke, but I don’t think it’s very funny. Maybe your friend here didn’t take offense, but I know a handful that would. Satire is meant to be humorous and constructive social criticism. Use WIT, not cliche stereotypical offensive material targeting race. There is much diversity within the school. Have you heard of the pathway program? This…is just distasteful. Some of your other articles are alright, but I can see where this site will get taken out of hand. You are representing your university. You are representing the church. Remember what you’re posting. Even if it just kidding.

    -Craig Behan

  4. As a student at this school I can attest to the fact that there is much diversity at this school. I myself am latin, and there are several people of african descent, asian descent, middle eastern, amongst many other ethnicities. I believe this is misquoted and there are no facts to back up these statements. Nice try, though. It’s pretty comical actually.

  5. Due to knowing the people involved, I’m guessing that this is roommates who are saddened to see a friend leave campus, and are just having a bit of fun with this. Knowing the context of such things helps. I enjoy the satire and humor of this page. 🙂

  6. HAHA! This is pretty far off base. I just graduated from BYU-Idaho in July and there is more than 1 black student. Yes, the majority is white but I still had 3-4 Black students in all of my classes. 2 of my 4 chemistry lab partners were black. The diversity is a work in progress but there is still representation of other cultures. Congrats to DeShawn Coltrane on graduating!

  7. Brigham Young once said, “he who takes offense when none is intended is a fool.” So all of you people complaining about how this is not funny, or are taking this in the least bit seriously…(im talking to you craig, and gus) Well what im trying to say is lighten up and don’t be so ridiculous!

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