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It’s no secret that Rexburg has some bi-polar weather—warm summer days can drop into the negatives faster than a five o-clock shadow will get you shunned from the Testing Center.  But students at BYU-Idaho have more to worry about right now than laser-sharp I’llkickyououtfasterthanyoucansayskinnyjeans glares from Testing Center employees. The recent trend (or lack thereof) in cold weather patterns have left them frantically wondering if that bobble hat will prompt approving glances on a chilly morning, or will simply be social suicide.

Hannah Jackson, a freshman from California, saw the brutal consequences of inappropriate earmuff wearing last Tuesday, as she walked across campus innocently trying to keep her hearing instruments warm. Said one onlooker, “she was just naively strolling by like she owned the place. She shouldn’t be owning those burgundy earmuffs—let alone the place.”

A shell-shocked Hannah spoke to The Skrole about her experience post-earmuff-wearing. “It’s been tough, to say the least” she admitted, “my friends won’t answer my texts or calls to hang out, and my roommate moved into the apartment next door.”

Her former roommate, who doesn’t wish to disclose her name, told us that there were warning signs before the day of the earmuff wearing: “Just the night before, I heard her humming a Christmas song while she was getting ready for bed. I should have known something wasn’t right in her mind,” she said sadly, “I just wish I’d been able to stop her before leaving the apartment that morning.”

She went on to say that Hannah had always felt the cold more than others, but just didn’t know how to handle it properly. “I know she was just trying to keep warm—it happens to all of us, but wearing clothing that is so visually assaulting to the rest of the student population is going to leave her to warm herself—no guy is going to sit by a fireplace with her after that ludicrous display.”

Too embarrassed to go to classes, Hannah has been spending her time weeping into her scarf collection in her bedroom. She hopes that as the weather gets colder and people start wearing more winter apparel, her social misconduct will be forgotten. This article serves to prove otherwise.

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