REXBURG- In a university devotional last Tuesday, President Kim B. Clark warned students living in the Ridge apartments of imminent destruction if they did not repent.

For years, the Ridge Apartments has been infamous for it’s promiscuity and revelry. After several events of questionable morality, Clark declared, “Wo unto the inhabitants of the Ridge apartments, that great and spacious building, for except ye shall repent with sackcloth and ashes, ye shall be destroyed, even by fire. Repent ye, repent ye, for the day of judgment is at hand!”

This was the second prediction against an apartment complex that Clark has issued during his tenure as University President. The first condemned housing unit, Nineveh Apartments, was able to repent before it was destroyed. Authorities hope that the Ridge dwellers will do the same. Others are less optimistic.

“Too much has gone on in that complex. It needs to be cleansed by fire,” said Marine Biology student, Jonah Farnsworth.

“It’s a pattern we see throughout scriptural history, “said Brother Tom Mulek of the religion department. “A society chooses the path of decadence until  they are destroyed, typically by fire or the sword. It is quite possible that the students in the Ridge apartments will be carried away captive to Rigby.”


22 thoughts on “President Predicts Destruction of Ridge Apartments

  1. Pretty funny stuff! For future articles, I would suggest you avoid scriptural language because it brings sacred principles and writings into an light which can be inappropriate. Let the ideas keep coming.

    • Though one should be careful, it is important to note that using scriptural language doesn’t necessarily jeopardize the sanctity of the scriptures nor the principles therein. I think the author was careful to avoid mocking doctrine and principles. Notice how the word “predict” is used, not “prophesy.”

        • Sorry. I wasn’t aware that the phrase “though one” is to be used exclusively in scripture. Actually, I think you would be hard pressed to find many uses of it at all in sacred text. Therein is your problem.

  2. N says:

    President Clark is a friend and I highly respect him! We need to not complain about President Clarks words of council. He was set apart by an apostle of the Lord to receive revelation and inspiration for BYU Idaho as a whole. If we complain or ignore President Clarks words of wisdom, were technically ignoring the words of the Lord. There are great people that live in the Ridge apartments my two cousins, good friends from back home and friends I have met up here at school and many are trying to do their best!! In the end I think what he is trying to say is you can’t have one foot in Zion and the other foot in Babylon!

  3. ^Do you really think President Clark said that? Wow. Just wow. And for the rest of you, ya’ll need to lighten up.

  4. This is the best parody I’ve heard coming out of BYU-Idaho. Keep it up. Even your comment section is hilarious. This Craig character you’ve invented is such a perfect ridiculously over the top parody of the kind of self-righteous, overly literal, lacking in critical thinking students that so often arrive at BYU-Idaho.

  5. Do you guys even know what this website is about? Obviously not or else you would freak out about some funny humor that is not true. This is what we call a snope website. Go look up the definition. Chill out.

  6. So if the building does burn down will the police investigate this University president for arson? Also in England this would be classed as Jihad or TERRORISM!

    There are better ways to teach repentance!

  7. The spirit of Ricks doesn’t abide there. it is too much of a hill for him to climb. if he did then everyone at the ridge would be devoured.

  8. Wait! This was writen back in 2013. Did this ever come to pass?I live at the ridge. And its my first year at colege, so I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe I need to get move out!!! Do you think I can still get out of my contract? WHY ARE THEY STILL SELLING CONTRACTS OVER A YEAR LATER? IS NO ONE ELSE WORRIED?!?1

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