REXBURG- In a press conference held earlier this week, the administration of BYU-I announced the construction of a penitentiary designed to imprison Honor Code violators.

The building, which is scheduled to be finished in May 2014, can potentially hold over 2,000 students and can accommodate both single and married students.

“It’s going be be a very flexible form of discipline,” said spokesperson Jerry Orwell.  “A person who flip flops on the standards by wearing flip flops on campus may be detained for a week, while someone facing more serious charges could stay in the facility for up to two semesters rather than losing their endorsement and being forced out of approved housing.”

The administration also announced that as of June 2014 all approved housing units will automatically lock their doors at 12 a.m. forcing curfew breakers to report to the facility.

Orwell suspects that a majority of future inmates will be “Weird Beards” (students who don’t shave) and “Nehors” (students who wear shorts on campus). Offenders of that nature are likely to face one to two weeks confined in the facility, giving them ample time to consider their mistakes and change their ways.

“This facility is all about L-O-V-E, Locking Offensive Violators Expeditiously, ” said Orwell. “We hope these new measures will increase campus obedience and improve apartment harmony.”


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