REXBURG- Students broke into religious furor on Monday when, after more than two-thousand years of traveling, the legendary fourth wise man–who tradition says initially never made it to Bethlehem with his three contemporaries–made his way across the BYU-Idaho campus in his continued search for the newborn Messiah.
Sightings of the roaming magi have been reported all through the intermountain west since July. Clad in centuries-old wise garb and riding on a camel, the itinerant genius, who roamed onto campus from the Ricks parking lot, was heard asking for information from students.
“He asked me what this place was, and I told him it was the Lord’s University,” said Cassie Singleton, a freshman. “He asked me wherewith was the Lord, and I told him that the best people to talk to would be the administration.”
The wise man was driven in a golf cart around campus by a student ambassador, making some notable stops. They visited the Religion Department, where the wise man passionately argued doctrinal points with a small crowd of religion professors.
“He’s not so much a wise man as a learned man who thinks he is wise,” commented a Tyler Amirite, a TA in the Religion Dept. “He doesn’t know that polygamy is over. He has a lot to learn.”
The wise man admitted that, despite being wise, he doesn’t know everything. “I’ve been wandering because I got confused and ended up following the wrong star,” he said, referring to when he first began his attempt to see the Lord. “It’s hard to tell stars apart, don’t you think?”
Students on campus were intrigued by the wise man. “Is he single?” asked Maretta Peterson, a junior with an undeclared major.
Many were curious about what gift the magi intends to present to the Lord. The wise man explained that his original gift–olive oil in a stone jar–soured long ago. The new gift, he revealed, is a Gameboy Advance with clear purple casing. “Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2,” said the wise man solemnly, as he ollied over a gap.
After being detained in the testing center for not having a beard card, the wise man decided to continue his journey. “If I could not find the Lord at His university,” he was heard saying as he pointed his camel toward Main Street, “maybe I will find him at Broulim’s.” No word yet on whether his hopes were rewarded.