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Christmas Kid

While millions of children were still basking in the yuletide rapture of yet another Christmas morning, Christopher Lewis, an eight-year-old from Flagstaff, Az sat pondering the possibility that Christmas was an inside job.

“I’m skeptical of the official report,” said Christopher. “Too many things just don’t add up.”

Christopher said that his skepticism began sometime in November when he found some toys in his parents’ closet. When he questioned them, his parents responded defensively.

“It was obvious that they were trying to cover something up,” said Christopher.

His suspicions were confirmed when he unwrapped those very toys this Christmas morning.

“My parents tried to pin it on Santa Claus but I have several sources to confirm that Santa was nowhere near our house the night of the 24th,” said Christopher. “Upon inspection of our home, I found no reindeer tracks on the roof and no DNA traces in the chimney. Furthermore, a close analysis of the handwriting on my presents matches my mother’s almost exactly.”

Though Christopher is unsure of what to make of his discovery, he is certain that Santa is not the perpetrator.

“I have a few theories,” says Christopher. “The most logical is that Christmas was an inside job. I don’t want to say that my parents are the sole executioners of the hoax, but obviously play a large part. The question now is the motive. Why would my parents give me gifts and pretend that it was someone else? It is possible that there was a third party involved.”

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