Home

Winter

Rexburg, Idaho may be the most conservative town in America. Today it proved to be so blood-red conservative that Global Warming couldn’t even touch it.

“As a city, as a county, and as a state, we have withstood the liberal assault,” said Rexburg’s mayor, Richard Woodland. “Other states, like Utah, have fallen to the Democrat agenda, but Idaho stands in strong defiance of all things liberal, including Global Warming.”

Treading through snowstorms on the way to class, students at Brigham Young University- Idaho say they are thankful for the subzero temperatures, icy roads and blinding snow.

“I would freeze to death before I gave Al Gore the satisfaction of thinking that this planet is heating up,” said Darrel Montgomery. “Other parts of the world are warming just like the leftists want, but we won’t give in.”

Though inspiring to local members of the GOP, the conservative cold does not come without a price. Many residents have been forced to stay off the roads and indoors for the duration of the storm.

“It’s not too bad,” said Rexburg resident, Nancy Swanson. “Warm weather is for commies, pinkos, and people who believe in global warming and gluten-free.”

Swanson also said that her family holds a Republican party every time it snows. Guests at the parties enjoy drinking red Kool-Aid and playing Pin the Blame on the Donkey.

Advertisements

One thought on “Rexburg’s Conservatism Trumps Global Warming

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s