Condemned by “doctors” and praised by desperate part-time models, this new miracle substance allows you to lose up to 40 lbs of belly fat in one week.
Ayer2014 is a gaseous compound of nitrogen, oxygen, argon, carbon dioxide and traces of krypton (yes, Superman’s home planet) that has redefined the weight-loss industry. By only inhaling Ayer2014 every time you feel hungry, you will begin to see dramatic results within days.
The science is simple. Ingesting regular doses of Ayer2014 instead of food causes extreme dehydration. Since the human body is 65 percent water, getting rid of the water will eliminate 65 percent of your body weight.
Wait there’s more! A strict Ayer2014 diet will also reduce bone density, which is good since the skeleton may be the heaviest component of the human body (we don’t know for sure because nobody has ever successfully weighed their own disembodied skeleton on a bathroom scale).
There is no more need for restrictive diets, strenuous workout programs or expensive pills. Try Ayer2014 today to see your weight drop like a dubstep bass line. You’ll as feel light as air. We gayerentee it.
For legal reasons, we ask you not to consult your “doctor” before taking Ayer2014.
Side effects may include heart and kidney failure, osteoporosis, muscle weakness, elevated liver enzymes, low blood pressure, hair loss, fainting, anemia, dizziness, brittle nails, unhealthy body image, social turmoil, and extreme hunger pain.
Do not take Ayer2014 if you are pregnant or have dreams of becoming pregnant, or if you value physical, mental, emotional or social health.