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REXBURG, Idaho- Following a flash flood that occurred in Rexburg yesterday afternoon, city officials have issued a warning about sharks.

“Floods like this always bring out some big fish,” said Public Services Manager, Mike Pritchet. “We just want to make sure everyone is safe.”

The city’s list of precautions include:
-Beware of deep flood areas as sharks prefer deeper water
-Don’t enter the water with open wounds
-Don’t act like a seal, turtle or other potential prey while in the water
-Do not quote the movie Jaws, as it provokes the sharks

So far there have only been three confirmed shark attacks in Rexburg, the most since the Teton Dam Flood of 1976. The victims were unavailable for comment.

President Kim B. Clark of BYU-Idaho took the opportunity to teach valuable lessons in light of the disaster. In an emergency address entitled, “Spiritual Sharks,” he warned students that these physical disasters are only signs of impending spiritual attacks if the students are not careful.

He also reminded students to continue observing the dress code because sharks are more likely to bite bare legs.

 

Photo by Isaiah Summerhays and Andrea Chatfield

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7 thoughts on “Shark Attacks on the Rise After Flood

  1. Seriously? Bare legs – dress code?!
    Taking the picture into context – looks like the boys finally have restrictions too.
    Finally a move to gender equality!!!!

    This article was absurdly lame.

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