REXBURG- Just two days after completing his goal to read the entire Harry Potter series, BYU-I president, Kim Clark announced that he will be hiding horcruxes around the school before retiring.

“The horcruxes,” said Clark, “Will allow me to continue living in the school long after I retire.”

While unorthodox, hiding artifacts encapsulating fragments of one’s soul is not altogether unheard of among BYU-I presidents. Thomas Ricks is estimated to have hidden some 24 horcruxes to ensure that the spirit of Ricks remained on campus forever.

The practice of horcrux-hiding all but ceased in 1977 when, at the height of anti-beard sentiment, many of Ricks’ horcruxes were sought out and destroyed. Since then, no president until Clark has publicly declared their intent to divide their soul and embed the pieces in hidden relics.

Clark did not describe the objects that will become his horcruxes, nor where they will be concealed, but kindly requested that nobody touch the mysterious silver goblet on his desk. Seriously, don’t touch it.


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